Imagine yourself 10 years from now . Who do you want to be ? What does that person look like ? What do they wear ? How do they carry themselves? What have they achieved in their lives. What value system do they emulate that you admire ?
The person you imagine is your mentor .
Two years ago I got a deep desire to have a mentor- I actually prayed about it because I felt a bit lost in certain areas of my life. I knew I needed a wiser person in my life who could give me guidance on career and spiritual matters.
Fortunately that year I was connected with my mentor. Ironically, I had asked her 4 years ago to be my mentor but I did it very flippantly. I believe my message went something like this and I quote
“ please be my mentor, I appreciate you so much.”
Ofcourse I didn’t get a response- why would someone who is busy and juggling so much be able to prioritise me when I don't even know how to properly ask for their mentorship.
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Mentorship requires investment, so before a mentor will agree take you on as a mentee - the said person needs to feel its an individual that is ready.
Alright here are three steps to get mentored:
1.FOCUS ON BUILDING - your potential mentor needs to find you working. Whatever area of life you need mentorship you should already be doing the work. I don't mean you need to be employed. You need to have laid the foundation in that specific area of interest you are seeking growth so that they can build with you. Eg. If it’s a spiritual mentor you need be rooted in a spiritual community. If it’s a financial mentor - you need to already have taken some classes or be knowledgeable in the basics of growing wealth. Mentors like mentees that are smart and have initiative.
2. ADD VALUE - Ensure you are adding value in your field/sector you are seeking for them to mentor you. And if you aren't able to do that yet, add value to your mentor's life. You are guaranteed to get their attention. A lot of people believe mentorship relationships should be one sided, but to catch the attention of your potential mentor you need to add value ( this will look different for everyone ). Simply put use your strengths , skill set or network to assist them in something they deem valuable. For example, if you are good at social media give them pointers on it and how to utilize it to grow their business or personal brand.
3) KNOW WHEN TO APPROACH - This is the most important. You have to know when its a good time to ask for mentorship. It's important that you have been on your potential mentor's radar before you ask for mentorship. How do you get on their radar ?
If they are out of reach you can do things like responding to their social media posts (This includes Linkendin, responding to their tweets, commenting on their posts, reposting their content) they will notice your handle and the your regular interaction with them. Also you can attend any panel discussion and conferences they are attending and if there is a question and answer segment always ask a question so you they remember you, buy their book if they have written one and create content about it) Social media is a great tool in getting their attention especially if you don't have access to them.
Finally keep on trying and if they say no -don't give up. Go back to the drawing board build up some more and when it's time ask again.
Hope this helps :)
In pursuit of the highest forms of joy,
Bolanle