A few weeks ago I posted a blog about finding a mentor and the importance of having older women around you who will give you wise words of counsel.
I love my friends and overall I would say they are wise and we all have similar values. I have different types of friends- there are some friends I talk about relationship issues , some career - others we just vibe. The advice I generally receive from my peers is very different from the advice that older women offer. Age is something that can’t be bought. With age comes wisdom. Age gives you the ability to see things from a different perspective and offer insights into life situations. For example, although, I have always been focused and sober minded, I know the type of advice I would offer my 22 year old self is different from when I was younger. The things I know now can only come with maturity. This is the reason, why having an older female figure in your life is very important. They have a sense of maturity that only age offers. So here are 4 steps to finding a mentor :
Know the areas you need guidance in: Not all mentors can guide you in every area. I have different types of mentors - business/ career, spiritual mentors, and then my all rounder mentors. You may not get all with one mentor, but know what role that mentor feeds into. Sometimes a mentor relationship can evolve but don’t force it.
Find a mentor that you share similar values : You should do your research on your mentor, know who she is and what she stands for. Your mentor’s value system will influence the type of advice they offer to you. Its imperative you understand the advice they offering and know it comes from a place that you are comfortable with. You may not always agree with their advice, but at least the world view it comes from aligns is with yours.
Be committed to adding value to the mentee/mentor realtionship : When I was looking for mentor I had to ask myself, what value can I add to this person’s life. I believe mentorship is a mutual relationship and both parties should benefit.
Learn about your potential mentors and woo them: I know this sounds crazy, but we are all so busy and a mentor/mentee realationship takes time and effort. Before anyone committs to being your mentor, they need to see that you are ready and willing to be mentored. You do not need to have it all together, you just need to be in motion and show that you are doing your part in your journey. As they are adding value to you , show that you can add value to them in whatever capacity you can. Eg, It can be as small as offering to show them how to use a new social media platform. You have knowledge that they do not have- share this with them. They will appreciate it.
Comment with your suggestions and tips :)
With great joy,
Bolanle
